Guilt

Guilty- that’s how I’ve felt this week…

Guilty for not spending enough time with my children and when I have it’s felt rushed, distracted and not calm.

Guilty for not taking care of my family how I would like to in a perfect ideal.

Guilty for not cleaning the house at all this week, I’ve done the bare minimum in any house related chores because there has been no time and when I have come in from work at 9 at night all I’ve wanted to do is sit down have a glass of wine with my reheated dinner, whilst finishing up work admin and maybe text a few of my friends to check they are ok and remind them I’m still alive.

Guilty for not being there in the mornings when my girls wake up because I’m trying to cram the gym in at 6am before the school run rush so that I can get through the day with a better emotional state as I need exercise to function at my best.

Guilty that when I’m working I’m feeling guilty that I’m working and not at home with my babies loving them…

Guilty that Andy the love of my life feels like he doesn’t actually see me and when he does I’m vacant or on my phone dealing with clients, posting on social media, managing my work load… yes he gets why, but that still doesn’t stop him feeling uncared for. I hate that.

Guilty that I haven’t washed my hair yet this week or shaved my legs!

Guilty that I’ve just remembered the dog hasn’t been walked!

Yes I know it’s normal, yes I know it will pass, yes I know I have to earn a living, yes I know my career invades our private life- I made the choice to give my girls a better life, and a hope for the future to ensure they are secure and cared for always because I’m their mother and that’s my job.

This week has been so full on a good full on, but this weekend I’m going to take a pause to sit back and just watch the world go past, live in the moment and enjoy it.

We are all so busy and modern life allows us to forget about ourselves. It’s down to us to find that balance- I’ll let you know when I’ve nailed it!

#imjustme

🌿

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